An example of why mosquitos probably wouldn’t make the intelligent animals list

Tonight I saw an exceptionally smart mosquito. That is, he was actually avoiding me. Instead of plotting his own demise and my possible itchiness, he was crawling toward the light! No, he wasn’t in a tunnel, though he might have been in his last moments on this Earth. He was crawling up the wall toward a wall-mounted down-facing lamp. He close enough to fly the rest of the way, then flitted to the light bulb. Unfortunately, the light was on. He landed on the surface of the glowing orb he thought was the sun and probably had enough time to radio Houston mission control that the Mosquito had landed, but his revelry was cut short– very short– by a burning sensation in the foot area. With his feet feeling on fire, he commenced an emergency takeoff in an ungainly fashion. He cartwheeled erratically before alighting on the same portion of the wall he had originally started on. Then he proceeded to schedule a second “solar” landing. He climbed up the same wall the same way and, in the same maneuver, took off for the glowing orb that was still just as hot as it had been seconds before. You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Obviously, this particular mosquito was insane. Needless to say, our intrepid adventurer was met with the exact same results: burned feet. After his second ejection from the life-giving (and -taking) burning bulb, the mosquito got cold feet and decided not to do anything ever again. He alighted somewhere out of my sight and most likely kicked the bucket. Never let it be known that foot injuries aren’t lethal. Especially when you have six of them.

Now, all of this reminded me of how we humans act… Not really. I’m not going into a whole complicated and senseless metaphor you probably won’t understand anyway. Instead, I’m going to let you figure it out on your own. The more strange likenings to other completely unrelated objects the better, provided it doesn’t make sense. That is a key component in any philosophical discussion. Happy mosquito hating!

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  1. Mosquitoes are pretty evil, but ant bites are worse.

  2. Mosquitos are definitely evil. I had one bite me on the bottom of my foot. It actually tickled more than it itched, but it was still very, very unpleasant.


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