The meaning of it all…

  • Moisten pretzel(s) with a small amount of water.
  • Sprinkle pretzel(s) with salt, according to taste.
  • Note: Do not use entire salt pack if not heating entire box of pretzels.
  • Heat and serve.

These directions were on a package of pretzel salt. It’s random, I know, but I thought it was worthy of a post. Speaking of random, I have been thinking, in my usual random way, about what makes randomness. There are two theories for what happens when we randomly do/say anything.

  1. There’s a little man inside your head, blindfolded, who picks out thoughts and puts them on a conveyor belt toward your mouth, which then says whatever that thought was. This is the theory to produce when someone asks you why you just said what you did, with an intention to punish you for it– it isn’t your fault! Neither is it the little man’s fault, or the conveyor belt’s fault.
  2. The real reason for randomness is the quickness of our young minds; it’s like a flea, seeming to jump from one thought to another. Actually, this isn’t what happens. You are thinking your own thoughts, say, the Sonata form in music, which consists of a slow movement, a fast movement, a slow movement, and another fast movement. Then you realize, “Hey, my mom drives the same way! Slow, fast, slow, fast.” Then you think, “Where’s my mom? At the grocery store? I wonder if she’ll pick up pizza on the way home. Pepperoni pizza. What are pepperonis made of, anyway?” And you voice this last thought aloud, thoroughly confusing the poor soul who was, just a minute ago, telling you about forms of music. And this, my friend, is how your mind works. It’s as if you were listening to a conversation, but only heard the first sentence and the last sentence. You know how sometimes someone will ask, “How did we get on this topic, anyway?” And they’ll backtrack until they see that, “Oh, it was the question about Napoleon’s barber!” But if you only heard “What color hair did Napoleon have?” and then, a few minutes later, “…and then he plotted to kill Napoleon [from a synopsis of War and Peace],” what chance would you have of understanding?

People as random as you are may or may not understand almost nothing you say, but never fear! Superman is here… never mind.

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7 Comments

  1. the random factor is often in effect also when a couple argues. You say, he/she says, you say, he/she says and before you know it, you’re in a pickle.

    my pretzel salt always falls through to the bottom. frustrating!. i tried getting the pretzels wet, but they turned to mush.

    Reply
  2. So it’s basically a case of give a mouse a cookie.

    Reply

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