Anyone know how to say “pirates” in French? No reason, really…

Hey there, my loyal fans! It’s Quirk, of course, to finish up the series of Phil posts that have been coming out. With me in the “studio” today are the brother ping pong balls Steve and Sam, who add many things to our organization the Phils, including but not limited to… um… Well, let’s just say they add a lot, even if I can’t really name it at the moment.

You all know me, I think. I first appeared as Liam’s first LFP, or little fictional person. I’ve grown since then, let me tell you! … That was supposed to be a joke. Never mind. Well, not much else has changed since then, really; I’m still fictional and still a person. I still like buttons, though I’ve almost gotten over my OCD. I still have just as many enemies, possibly more than ever in fact. I like playing tennis upside down and painting my hair.

Steve is here to tell you all about him. Steve?


Thank you, Steve. As you can see, fans, Steve is still his old self who you first saw in chapter 1 of Small Minds. He is the real “potentially fatal ping pong ball”.

And here for you also is Sam. Sam?

Sam: Yes? Oh. Hi there. I’m still–

Thank you for that, Sam. We love having you here with us in the studio. Thank you!

And now for a word from our… sponsor.

Hello again, all. I (Liam) am back. After that slew of Phil posts, I’m quite happy to say that I’m back in control. Now I’m seeing what the Phils did while I was gone… Oh me, oh my. Sebase seems to have changed my computer wallpaper to a picture of the rear end of a hippo. Steve has talked Quirk into painting graffiti all over the computer. (One of the least offensive samples that I can make out tells us that I got the way I am after eating three large helpings of broiled cephalopod, and where that idea came from I have no idea.) Feiron has put pink ribbons on the screen, and somehow Percival was able to write his name in Silly String on a spot that Quirk missed. It’ll take a lot of work to undo all this… I might even have to enlist their help. Maybe.

I just finished watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Quite a good movie, actually. The writing was good, the music was phenomenal (I also get to play it every week for another month or two in my youth orchestra– quite fun), and the actors were superb. I believe one of them also played Legolas in LOTR. Of course, I really don’t do much with zombies or the undead. I’ve read one book that mentions them briefly, one short story that also mentions them briefly (after all, that’s all you can do in a short story: mention things briefly), and now one movie that almost revolves around them. It isn’t out of any particular aversion to zombies that I might have, but there are other ways to make a story good. (You can take out the vampires, too.) I say the writing was excellent, but as with all pirate movies or stories, you’re gonna hafta allow for a few cliches. But it was original, which is all I can hope for. (Well, I could hope for a whole lot more, but I’m not. It ain’t a perfect world, after all. *Waves with both hands like Captain Jack Sparrow and backs up, falling over the rail of the imaginary pirate ship he’s standing on, then climbs aboard again minutes later.*)

Another thing I liked about the movie was that it was consistent, apart from the existence of the undead. Now, if you don’t know me that well, you might not know that I’m a sailor. For this reason, or possibly others, I like sailing movies/books. That is why I read Moby Dick, Two Years Before the Mast, White-Jacket, Treasure Island, and Castaways of the Flying Dutchman before I turned 13. That being said, it is kind of obvious why my brother and I both cried “Chain-shot!” when it appeared. Humor, sailing, and lots and lots of pirates all in one place? I’ll be there. Savvy?

Keep trying for that 750th comment contest! I’m not sure how many comments are left, but it ain’t to late to find out, eh? (Sorry, I’m still speaking pirate.) Small Minds chapter… erm… *counts* …chapter 6 will come out on Sunday. Today will be the day you all remember… *falls overboard again*

Leave a comment


  1. Nice post! I don’t envy you the cleanup on your computer, but I do envy the playing of Pirates music. That sounds like fun.
    I agree about zombies and vampires. Come to think of it, I think that the only zombies I’ve read about are in the Percy Jackson books. Actually, I think there were zombies in The Alchemyst too, but I read that years ago.

  2. Ah, Liam. Welcome back. I’ve missed you so, although I did enjoy your posts from the Phils.
    Pirates of the Caribbean is a win. As is Jonny Depp’s face.

  3. Erin

     /  February 12, 2012

    Pirates of the Caribbean is ingenious. And yes, the actor who plays Will also plays Legolas. His name is Orlando Bloom. *gives a rare girly squeal and faints*
    Oh, and Keira Knightley and Johnny Depp are both wonderful actors as well. Savvy? Savvy.

  4. Actually, as far as I can tell, “Pirate” is French to begin with.

    You seriously read Moby Dick before you were 13?! That book is amazing, although insanely long. I’m reading it right now 😀

    • Yeah, I pretty much read everything that has anything to do with sailing before I was thirteen. Castaways of the Flying Dutchman (wonderful book by Brian Jacques), Two Years Before the Mast, White-Jacket (another one by Melville), and more that I can’t remember.
      And welcome to my blog, Aylin!

  5. Why, thank you, Head Phil!


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