A Horrible Poem

I wrote this poem last night for a friend who’s doing Script Frenzy and couldn’t get going.  She knows who she is, so I won’t point her out.  This poem is horrible and shouldn’t be taken personally.  I hope no one is offended.

There once was a writer who wanted a script,

So she thought and she thought until one day she tipped.

She thought, “There’s a contest in April, I might as well try it.”

She thought it was better than her last failed diet.

So she waited for April and thought quite a lot,

And bugged her friends to come join her spot.

At last April came.  What was really astounding

Was that when she wrote, her thoughts weren’t abounding.

She went to her friend and asked for his help.

He told her to write, which she did with a yelp.

Soon she was off, and doing quite well,

Until April finished and she stopped with a yell.

“They all got head starts,” she said quite irately,

And stuck up her nose in a manner quite stately.

She said, “I’m not done, I’m still gonna write.”

So all that she did, until late at night.

So you see, my dear writer, it is all quite simple;

You write and you write, and you don’t fret one pimple.

But if it happens that you have a late start,

And don’t know what to write down deep in your heart,

Then call up a friend and talk to him slowly,

And he’ll help you stop feeling ever so lowly.

So write, write, write, write until your fingers ache,

‘Cause then, only then, can you give them a break.

Once you’ve got a hundred pages, you have just won,

This April thing’s crazy, but you’ve only begun.

This poem is stupid, it’s redundant and silly,

But so is that script, unless you are great, really.

You did Script Frenzy for practice, for fun;

Don’t expect it to be good straight from the gun.

But nevertheless, you won’t be disappointed,

With the month finished and your fingers disjointed.

You’ll feel quite proud, quite free, as you should,

Even though poetry like this isn’t as good.

So write, O dear writer, until you are tired.

We’ll hold a party and I’ll probably be fired.

Leave a comment


  1. Erin

     /  April 2, 2012

    Ha ha! Actually, it’s not that bad.

    Hey, just sent that guest post to you via Nano mail.

    • Danke! My poetry needs lot of flattering for it even to get one rhyme going.
      Ditto thankful expression above! It will go up soon.

      • Erin

         /  April 2, 2012

        De rien. 🙂

        Alrighty, sounds good.

      • Erin

         /  April 2, 2012

        Hmm… I meant to say “you’re welcome” in French up there, but I think I said “nothing” instead. Stupid Google Translate.

      • I just looked it up. It means “Think nothing of it,” which works perfectly.

  2. Well, your poem is better than that one poem I wrote about my dog. Or that other poem I wrote about a glass of milk.


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