Chances of Survival Are Dwindling Into Single Digits Now…

This August is going to be awesome.

It’s going to be the most hectic month I’ve ever lived through, but hopefully I’ll live through it.

At the rate I’m going, that won’t be likely.

‘Cause I’ve got another award.  [Odds of survival: two million to one.]

This is the Top Blog Award, given by Miss Vixen.  It has no picture, for which we are all duly thankful.  [Odds of survival: one million to one.]

It has rules, though.  [Odds of survival: 1.5 million to one.]

The Rules:
-You must take my answers out of the questions and answer them for yourself
-You must nominate your favorite top 5 bloggers
-You cannot nominate the person who nominated you
-If you have already received this award before, you don’t have to do it unless you really, really want to

It’s more simple than I thought.  [Odds of survival: 1.25 million to one.]

Oh, darn.  The questions aren’t questions.  [Odds of survival: 1.125 million to one.]

-Top 5 likes:
Writing, reading, music, thinking, and my current position in life.

One down, fourteen left.  And I’m not dead yet.  [Odds of survival: 1.05 million to one.]

-Top 5 fears:
That I’ll never write anything good.  That I’ll die before finishing the last book in an epic series (if fear number one doesn’t come to pass).  That I actually have the enemies I pretend to have for the Phil Phorce and that all of them want to kill me.  That I’ll develop an allergic reaction toward lactose and never be able to eat cheese again (or that someone will force me to go Vegan– almost as bad).  That the entirety of modern young adult literature turns into remakes of Harry Potter, the Hunger Games, or Twilight (it hasn’t done that quite yet, but it’s pretty darn close).

Two down.  [Odds of survival: 975,000 to one.]

-Top 5 wishes:
That my life will continue to be as awesome as it has been thus far.  (That pretty much sums it all up so I’ll be a little bit more redundant.)  That I’ll get the same type of crazy opportunities as I’ve had all my life thus far.  That ideas keep up their valiant effort to make me insane from sheer numbers.  That Bob Costas retires early.  (That would make my life a little bit too perfect.)  Both that people keep acknowledging me with awards, and also that people stop interrupting my awesome posting plans.

Three down.  [Odds of survival: 900,000 to one.]

-Top 5 favorite animals:
Platypus, sheep, panther, falcon, and wolf.  (Ruthlessly efficient hunting machines, all.)

Four down.  [Odds of survival: 825,000 to one.]

-Top 5 favorite foods:
Spaghetti (the making of which is mandatory for passing any evil genius examination), bread, cheese, chocolate, and salmon.

Five down.  Ten to go.  [Odds of survival: 750,000 to one.]

-Top 5 books:
The Kane Chronicles: The Serpent’s Shadow, Rick Riordan.  Ranger’s Apprentice: The Lost Stories, John Flanagan.  Artemis Fowl (series), Eoin Colfer.  The Secret War, Matt Myklusch.  Inkworld (series), Cornelia Funke.

Six down, but that one almost killed me.  I cannot narrow these things down to single books, as you see by the two series included.  [Odds of survival: 675,000 to one.]

-Top 5 movies:
Mission: Impossible– Ghost Protocol.  Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.  How to Train Your Dragon.  Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.  Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.  (One of these things is not like the others…)

Seven down.  I need to catch my breath; that one really came close to doing me in.  [Odds of survival: 611,000 to one.]

-Top 5 dream vacation spots:
What?!  I’m going mythical.  (The guy did say “dream”.)  Gondor/Numenor (in either the golden years of Aragorn’s reign or the golden years of Numenor– before the fall).  The Inkworld (with guided tours by Dustfinger or Fenoglio).  Foo (again, with guided tours by Clover Ernest).  Aslan’s country.  Vorse.  (It would allow me to write about it more proficiently.)

Eight down.  I am rejuvenated.  [Odds of survival: 525,000 to one.]

-Top 5 favorite people:
Dustfinger.  Eugenides.  Clover Ernest.  Edmond Dantes (more well-known as the Count of Monte Cristo).  Pierre Bezukhov.

Nine down.  [Odds of survival: 450,000 to one.]

-Top 5 favorite fruits:
(This guy is loopy.  Have you figured that out yet?)  Lemon.  Grape.  Watermelon.  Banana.  Chocolate.  (It’s a fruit, right?)

Ten down.  Five to go.  [Odds of survival: 375,000 to one.]

-Top 5 favorite flowers:
(He’s really loopy.)  The kind that bite your head off.  The kind that are poisonous.  The kind that look pretty darn ugly but have strange uses.  The kind that grow on plants.  The kind that don’t really smell nice, look nice, or have uses at all.

Eleven down.  [Odds of survival: 300,000 to one.]

-Top 5 future careers:
Book writer.  Movie script writer.  TV show writer.  Music writer.  Literary editor.  (Seeing a trend?  I’d do all five of these if possible.)

Twelve down.  [Odds of survival: 225,000 to one.]

-Top 5 girls names:
(Loony.  Just loony.)  Girl one, girl two, girl three, girl four, and girl five.  (Listen, I don’t keep track of what I like or don’t like.  It’s all spur of the moment stuff when I choose a female character’s name.)

Thirteen down.  [Odds of survival: 150,000 to one.]

-Top 5 boys names:
(Absolutely insane.)  Boy one, boy two, boy three, boy four, boy five.

Fourteen down.  Last one.  [Odds of survival: 75,000 to one.]

-Top 5 things you’d rather be doing:
(Now I’m sure he’s crazy; he asked this question.)  Writing something useful, listening to Beethoven’s 4th, building a specialized bomb that only targets blog awards, explaining to the instigator of this blog award that fifteen questions kind of implies… well, questions; and planning the Camp NaNoNovel (I’m writing this the night before it will be posted).

“Questions” have finished.  [Odds of survival: 2 to one.]

We are close to the end, my dears; all that is left is to pass on the disease to five people.  You know what?  I’m going to cheat and break the rules, ’cause I’m tired of doing this.  I’m not going to award this to anyone else; I’m going to let you guys award yourselves.  [Odds of survival: one to one.]  The first five people to comment on this post– not including Miss Vixen and myself– are allowed to take this award.  If you don’t want to accept, don’t comment until at least two more posts come out on this blog.  Anarchy!  We all love it!

I survived.  Are you disappointed?

Leave a comment


  1. Who’s Bob Costas?

    I love your boy/girl names…

    • News announcer on NBC. He has achieved a level of ineptitude all young newscasters aspire to.


      • Ah. Is he Intense, Direct, or Off-Kilter? Or just plain Stupid?

      • He usually attempts Intense, but it comes out more like “Oops, I read the word on the teleprompter wrong. Wait… I think those might be song lyrics, not a teleprompter at all. Darn it.”

  2. Chocolate is totally a fruit. And I’m going to have to reread the Inkheart series, because you just reminded me of my love for Dustfinger. *puts book in the bottom of to-read pile*

  3. Clover is indeed a lovely character. Hilarious too, which is a bonus.

    I didn’t know you read The Lost Stories of the Ranger’s Apprentice! I’d just finished that a day or two ago…it’s quite good.

    Thankfully, you excluded me from the top five people to comment on this post, of which I am most grateful.

  4. Charley R

     /  August 1, 2012

    Hehehe, your answers are absolutely hysterical – I love them. Also, Count of Monte Cristo. Fantastic book. Dumas is a genius. ‘Nough said.

    Like yourself, I face a busy month and have subsequently plunged into the hole of using blog awards as filler-in posts. I feel your pain, my friend. However, as recompense, I shall be treating you to the second ticket I wangled out of Mo for a trip to the Inkworld. Going to bribe Farid into making Dustfinger give us a tour (because the odds of him doing it willingly are about as likely as Gwin being awarded a Cuddliest Pet award).
    Fancy it?

    • Definitely. I’ll be there.

      And you do realize that this means you’re accepting the award, right? Just checking.

      • Charley R

         /  August 1, 2012

        Regrettably, no it doesn’t. I was just remarking.

        Fifteen facts is too much for my lazy self right now 😛

      • Then you shouldn’t have commented.

      • Charley R

         /  August 1, 2012

        Whoops . . . but you said it was optional!

      • I said, and I quote, “If you don’t want to accept, don’t comment until at least two more posts come out on this blog.” Sorry, mate. Looks like you’re obligated.

      • Charley R

         /  August 2, 2012

        Blast . . . still, I shall flee to my island and work out another plan there. I shall sort this out when I get back next week 😛

      • I’ll hold you to it. You won’t get away from this one.

  5. Bahaha, the title of this post made me laugh out loud. That’s not fair, Liam. I’ve been getting very emotional over that movie for the past few days now.

    And I’m disappointed in the survival ratios. Whatever happened to the decimals? I liked the decimals. They’re weird.

    Well done answering the questions, by the way. And those boy/girl names. Absolutely genius. What have I been doing in my spare time when I could be coming up with a plethora of magnificent protagonist titles?

    (Don’t ask. Summer is tiring.)


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