Short Story: Too Late

Here’s a short story I wrote yesterday as I contemplated the concept of an entire day being the end of the world.  Since at any given time it’s a different day in another part of the world, I thought it would be interesting to write the following story.  It’s completely dialogue, but I’d still like a critique on the amount of information I gave through the conversation.  Thanks for reading.

“Today is the Earth’s last day.”

“What?  It can’t be!  Yesterday was its last day.”

“Well, it was a false alarm yesterday.  Today is the real last day.”

“You mean…  You’re just going to wipe out humans?  Completely?”

“I prefer to think of it as housecleaning that we’ve put off for thousands of years.”

“We?  I happen to like humans!”

“Well I don’t.  Humans disgust me.”

“Sometimes they disgust me too.  I was wrong—I just like Great Britain.”

“England’s town names are ridiculous.  Berwick-upon-tweed?  Seriously?”

“You’re right…  I just like Scotland.”

“They blow their noses and call it music—they carry enormous tissue boxes around with them that they call bagpipes.”

“But they have knives in their socks!  Ah, well…  I like the hares.”

“Yeah, the hares are okay.  But that’s collateral damage—the humans have to go.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?  We had a chess game planned.”

“Remember last time we played chess?”

“No…”

“Let me refresh your memory: World War II.”

“Oh…  Yeah…  That whole thing was too bad.”

“You were rather frustrated with that game.”

“Well, when you refused to end the game when I took your king, I had to take drastic measures.”

“You dropped nuclear bombs.”

“I said drastic.  But I was not myself.  I’m calmer now.”

“So you agree, we shouldn’t play chess?”

“I suppose not.”

“Then we should end the world.”

“But…  Well, okay.  Let’s wait until the end of the day, though.”

“Okay.  It’s December 21, 2012, 2350 hours in Japan.”

“How many hours?”

“For those who don’t operate on 24-hour clocks, it’s 11:50.  11:51 now.”

“Okay…  Nine minutes.”

“2353 hours…. 2358 hours.”

“12:00.”

“I’m gonna destroy ‘em, and I’m gonna enjoy it.”

“Wait!  We agreed to wait ‘til the end of the day, right?”

“…Yeah?”

“It’s only 11:00 PM in China.”

“Phooey.  So we wait for another hour?”

“Yup.”

“How about checkers?  That’s pretty harmless.”

“’Kay.”

“2330 hours.”

“King me.”

“2350.”

“King me again.”

“Would you stop winning?”

“Would you stop wishing for the end of the world?”

“It’s not the end of our world.  Just theirs.”

“Still.”

“Yes!  That’s it!  I destroy them… now.”

“Wait!  It’s still eleven in Jakarta.”

“Drat.  Another game?”

“Sure.”

“2320 hours.”

“Checkmate.”

“You mean, king me.”

“Yeah, king me.”

“No, king me!”

“It’s eleven thirty.”

“Oh.”

“King me.”

“2340 hours.”

“King me.”

“2350…”

“King me.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“King m—I mean, it’s eleven in Nepal.”

“Dang it.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in Berlin.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in Greenwich.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in NYC.”

“Time for the world to die?”

“Eleven in Sacramento.”

“Now?  Please?”

“It’s eleven in Honolulu.”

“Now, finally, it’s time for the world to end.  Right?  Right.  Let’s go.”

“Wait!  It’s the 22nd already.”

“What…?”

“You waited too long.  It’s December 22nd.”

“Stupid checkers games.  Today is the day the world ends.  You can’t stop me.”

“Can’t we wait until the end of the day?”

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73 Comments

  1. pretty amusing “waiting for godot” parody on the end of the world. just waiting for the time to be the last moments of 12.21.12 and they waited and the moment of truth was missed. the waiting held no fruition. loved reading your dialogue. it would make a great short play or film. thanks for the amusement. jk

    Reply
  2. Charley R

     /  December 22, 2012

    Ahahahaha, I love this! I can just imagine two incredibly powerful celestial / alien beings sitting around in outer space, one all dressed up in armour with flaming weapons and arsenal all pointed at Earth . . . and the other one sitting off to the side in its pyjamas, looking smugly at its rather dimwitted companion.

    Love it.

    Reply
  3. magicandwriting583

     /  December 22, 2012

    This. Is. AWESOME!

    Reply
  4. That was so amazingly awesome 🙂

    Reply
  5. This was soo funny, a break from all of the end of the world jokes 😛

    Reply
  6. mamma sass

     /  December 23, 2012

    This is uncanny! A dear friend brought his younger brother over and all that was on TV that day were documentaries on the apocalypse. He was absolutely terrified (he’s 25!!) and we had to go through the time of day around the globe just to keep reassuring him, it wasn’t happening just yet because it’s still _________ o’clock in ___________ until we safely crossed to 22/12/12!!

    Reply
  7. Very enjoyable!

    Reply
  8. Wow. I shall never again underestimate the power of well-placed dialogue. Excellent work!

    Reply
  9. You are an astounding writer! I’m inspired to try my hand at dialogue.

    Reply
    • It’s a hard way to write a story, and it’s usually confusing. Since I knew I wouldn’t be able to paint the picture any better with description in this case, I went with dialogue. If that’s what you’re looking for, though, go for it!

      I’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  10. Ms. Mind Reader

     /  December 23, 2012

    That was hilarious 😀

    Reply
  11. This was a great, funny short story. 😀 Really enjoyed reading it.

    Reply
  12. Robyn Hoode

     /  March 11, 2013

    That was wonderful! Talk about playing god as a writer!
    Question: did you go look up all the time zones for this? Is it accurate?

    Reply
  13. I remember this short story…it was awesome. And still is. I noticed their personalities seem to change ever so slightly through the course of the story, though…but that’s minor.

    Reply
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