So in fact I was just about ready to write an apologetic post about how I couldn’t fulfill my promise for a TCWT July blog chain post, when suddenly I realized that the time I spent writing that post could actually be used to write the promised post and none would be the wiser (except that I’m writing this introduction). Truth be told, I hadn’t given this post a thought since I signed up, except for a few moments of heart-stopping panic when I thought I had already missed the date. I thought I had no characters to use; I thought I had no ideas for it. Then I remembered my cardinal rule. The cardinal rule of writing is this: when you can’t think of anything to do next, add a duck or some explosions. Preferably both. Following that logic, I wrote my therapy session with the one duck character I have, who coincidentally also explodes from time to time. Allow me to introduce the stellar, the scintillating, the slightly bald Mack!
Therapist: Tell me about yourself.
Mack: I’m a duck.
T: So I see.
M: Actually, I’m a Vorsian mallard, but everyone calls me a duck.
T: And how does that make you feel?
M: Angry. My species might be rare, but we aren’t extinct.
T: I’ve never heard of your species.
M: And how does that make you feel?
T: Ha. How does it make you feel?
M: I feel like you should be more ashamed of your lack of knowledge.
T: I’m still in shock that ducks can talk.
M: I’m a mallard. Our species is exceptional.
T: So I see. Pardon me if I ask seemingly simple questions. Does your species have a cohesive society?
M: Not since we realized flying in flocks would quickly lessen the number of members.
T: Why is that? Hunters?
M: We explode.
T: …I see.
M: If we beat our wings too fast, we let off an elemental discharge that basically cooks, freezes, and blinds everything in the vicinity, then sucks it into a temporary black hole. There’s wind too, but that doesn’t really do much.
T: Interesting. So by being close to you now, I am in danger of being destroyed?
M: Well, doubly, I suppose.
T: That doesn’t sound good.
M: Not for you. I’m an assassin.
T: Are you here for me?
M: No, you aren’t that important. I’m just here for the session.
T: Are your crimes catching up to you?
M: Crimes? I’m an assassin, not a murderer.
T: It’s good that you’re already at peace with yourself. How do you feel being an assassin?
M: It’s fun, most of the time. It’s delicious when they plead.
T: Do you find yourself ever feeling for your victims?
M: Targets, Mr. Therapist; targets. And no, I don’t often empathize with the human species.
T: Interesting. Do you empathize with your own kind?
M: Of course. What kind of psychopath wouldn’t feel for his own people? I am not, as you may think, a monster– I am simply a mallard making a living by killing off the less worthy.
T: I see. How often do you see your family?
M: They died when I was learning to fly.
T: I’m sorry.
M: Don’t be. They deserved it for telling me not to flap too fast.
T: So you killed your own family?
M: No, they just died because of something I did.
T: You’ve managed to justify that too, I see. Well, then. Is there anything in specific you’d like to talk about?
M: Have you ever pondered the mortality of your own being? I mean, if I flew out of that window, your office would probably be a crater before you noticed I had gone.
T: *gets up and shuts the window*
M: Actually, I came here to talk about how the color green makes me feel.
T: Really? Do tell. *readies notepad*
And that, believe it or not, is that. That was my character Mack from Fathoming Egression, the novel I wrote for Camp NaNoWriMo in August of last year. I’m proud of Mack, not only because he was funny and a
duck mallard, but because he was my very first traitor. I adore traitors. (As I come to think of it, that novel actually had some great plot twists near the end. It’s a pity the rest of it was so bad.)
Thanks for sticking with me, even though you didn’t know I was trying to loosen your adhesive and disappear into ignominy. Here are the other participants in the chain, day by day:
July 5th – http://novelexemplar.wordpress.com/
July 6th – http://veewhoa.wordpress.com/
July 7th – http://bloodoverithaca.wordpress.com/
July 8th – http://www.brookeharrison.com/
July 9th – http://themagicviolinist.blogspot.com/
July 10th – http://fida-islaih.blogspot.com/
July 11th – http://musingsfromnevillesnavel.wordpress.com/
July 12th – http://maralaurey.wordpress.com/
July 13th – http://miriamjoywrites.wordpress.com/
July 14th – https://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/
July 15th – http://charleyrobson.blogspot.com/
July 16th – http://www.oyeahwrite.wordpress.com/
July 17th – http://insatiablebeforedeath.wordpress.com/
July 18th – http://www.indianawriterblog.wordpress.com/
July 19th – http://akwardlywriting.blogspot.com/
July 20th – http://alifeonmission.wordpress.com/
July 21st – http://whimsicallyours.com/
July 22nd – http://theteenagewriter.wordpress.com/
July 23rd – http://dreamerheadquarters.wordpress.com
July 24th – http://weirdalocity.wordpress.com/
July 25th – http://missalexandrinabrant.wordpress.com/
26th – http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com/ (We’ll be announcing the topic for next month’s chain.)