I’m Gonna Pop Some Tags

I guess I had this coming when I said I was open for tags for the next month.  I suppose I’m really lucky it took a week for people to get the ball rolling— I love hanging around here, but three weeks might be my limit on tagging sanity.  So cram them in if you want them answered, people.

Katie at Spiral-Bound tagged me with the Extraordinary Means tag.  Six questions full of high costs, and I have to decide which author or character or book is worth such a price.  I’m going to say right now, however, that I take issue with some of the questions, so I’ll probably spend more time arguing them than actually answering them.  Anyway, here goes.  Forgive me if I’m a bit rusty. (more…)

An Unexpected Award Post

This is a blog award.  Yes, Liam still accepts blog awards on occasion.  I don’t want anyone to think that I’m insulting them personally by accepting one award and not the other, so I’ll give some reasons for this acceptance.  I enjoy answering questions– not so much thinking up eleven facts about myself.  This is the main thing, actually.  Have you ever filled out an award up to the tenth fact and for the eleventh, your mind goes blank?  That happens to me every time.  Not so with questions, because in that brand of chaos, there is order.  If you make the questions into something I want to answer, I will definitely accept.  So just because I usually don’t accept awards doesn’t mean you should stop giving them to me.  Ahem.

So.  Thank you, Keras the Unknown, also known as Leinad, for the Shine On Award.  I’ve seen the picture for it, I know what the picture looks like, and I know that I don’t want that picture on my blog.  Thank you, but no thank you.

I don’t know when there has been an award without rules, and what a surprise, they’ve appeared here too!  Let’s fulfill them, or destroy them, as we please. (more…)

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Being called inspirational is quite a compliment.  A homeschooled teenager from [redacted] doesn’t have much chance to throw his ideas to the nether corners of the earth, and much less of a chance to have someone consider themselves inspired by these ideas.  But the real test of readership is when I can post a list of ways to annoy a cellist and cellists read it.  I can post useless fiction that might be better off being posted on another blog, and people will critique the storytelling, even though it’s acknowledged to be horrible.  I can post my thoughts on anything, no matter if I didn’t even take the time to check my facts, and people comment.  I have no idea whether it’s because of my sparkling personality, my brilliant observations, my rapier wit, or just the fact that I have no idea what I’m talking about most of the time, but for some reason people find me inspiring.

People can be kind of dumb sometimes.  Don’t they know I’m helping an intangible parasite infiltrate their minds and suck away their souls?  Obviously not. (more…)

Turvy-Topsy Post Award

By the way, this is the end of the post.  Just saying.  And the post doesn’t begin until way down there at the bottom…

I have been graced with another award.  Honestly, I didn’t know there were so many.  When I started I thought there was one– now there are enough to make an army, if someone would supply pointy objects and unflattering metal hats.

In addition, if their rules were laid end to end, they would fill an entire set of encyclopedias– twice, in the most efficient system of writing in any world, real or fictional. (more…)

Death Comes to Those Who Wait…

There are only so many hits a guy can take before he falls, you know.  We have learned this lesson from such popular icons as Boromir, Anakin Skywalker, and that one guy on Wii boxing.  And though a rubber ball can bounce high on the first day out of the box, it eventually breaks apart into pieces.  This, my friends, is how I feel…  I get a blog award, think it’s over, then get it shot back at me.

By popular request, I will be accepting the Liebster Blog Award for the second time in this blog’s history.  Granted, the first post about this was extremely wimpy and under 200 words, and the award didn’t have the same rules back then.  So it’s like getting a new blog award.

That’s what I tell myself.

I know the end is near.  It must be near.  I can feel Death over my shoulder, breathing down my neck with breath tasting of… lamb chops? (more…)

Toujou, Toujou, We’re all Blue Too!

And that is the extent of my poetry skills…

Anyway, this award is the Toujou award.  It does have a badge, but I don’t like badges so it won’t be posted.  This post is contrary to most of my posts, which have expressed utter revulsion toward awards in general, and even caused Miss Vixen to not nominate me when this award first made its appearance on a blog I frequent.  (I thanked her for that.)  And then, when Charley R., who she had nominated at first, nominated me in turn, I groaned at first.  Having dodged the first bullet, I got hit by the second.  But then I saw the first rule.  And then I saw the first question of the miniature quiz.  And I saw Charley’s response to the first rule.  And I caved in. (more…)

Chances of Survival Are Dwindling Into Single Digits Now…

This August is going to be awesome.

It’s going to be the most hectic month I’ve ever lived through, but hopefully I’ll live through it.

At the rate I’m going, that won’t be likely.

‘Cause I’ve got another award.  [Odds of survival: two million to one.] (more…)

Popular… I Wanna Be Pop-u-lar…

How does one respond to such honor?  How would one repay the person bestowing the honor?  And how, how, how does one recover what he thought he knew about grammar and spelling rules?

A simple answer: one does not.  There is no escaping the Amazeballs award with your blog or your straight A’s in spelling intact.  As if that weren’t enough, it comes with a picture.

How do they come up with these things?

This was recently made by NevilleFan, a teenage blogger of my acquaintance, at The Teenage Writer.  I have never been among the first to be awarded a blog award, and am suitably honored.  (All of my past pain felt from awards has almost gone, so I can say stuff like that without being sarcastic.)  As always, rewards are restricting and, some would say, evil– they all have rules.  (Quickest way to identify a very very bad guy: he has standards and rules.)  Here they are, in all of their evil glory:

  1. You must link to the blog you received the award from.
  2. You must answer all the questions.
  3. You must pass it onto at least one other Amazeballs Blogger, the more the merrier.
  4. You must remember to tell the recipients that you nominated them!!! Whether by commenting on their blogs, PMing them if you know them on a different site, etc. Those’re the rules!!!
  5. You must be amazeballs!!!
Goodness, that last rule just…  Eh, well, it’s not going to be the winning word in the spelling bee anytime soon.  Wait another fifty years and it might get in the dictionary… with a hefty bribe.  Now, here are those questions.
  1. What are your favorite song lyrics?  Huh…  Could we count the audible counting from the bass section during a few parts of Beethoven’s Sixth?  No?  Blast.  Hmmm…  I really don’t have favorite lyrics.  Sorry.
  2. What is your favorite book/book series?  Well, that’s hard to answer, because it hasn’t been written yet.  Eventually it’s going to be the best book I’ve ever written… but I haven’t written it yet.  Conceited, you might say, but I say optimistic.  Other than that, however, I’d say it’s the Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan that holds my favor currently.  Though that might not be so…  It might be something of Cornelia Funke’s, and still yet might be something else.  My mind isn’t the clearest right now; all of the books I’ve just read are telling me that they’re the best.
  3. What is your favorite movie/TV series?  Again, this will change in the next minute, but right now it’s Mission: Impossible– Ghost Protocol.  It’s the best schooling on plot twists I’ve had in a while.
  4. Who inspires you?  No idea.  At all.  My family is great, but they don’t inspire me (no offense).  All the authors I like are great, but they don’t inspire me.  I have no idea who inspires me.
  5. What is your dream job?  Don’t you think it would be obvious?  I want to write.

I’m sorry that those answers weren’t too satisfactory.  Preferences are always whimsical and ever-changing as the winds– winds blown from contrary sources with a jittery hand on the speed control.

Now.  The nominations, as there always are.  I’ll try not to nominate anyone who hasn’t accepted the last award I sent out, because their awesomeness severely diminished after that.

The Totally Insane Writer—  Another thoroughly enjoyable writer: Seana J. Vixen.  Many a book review from her has caused me to spend a couple days of my quality time waiting for them to arrive at my library.  Please, just stop.

Heroic Endeavors— because even if she attracts millions of cello fans to my blog every day who all seem to want to kill me, she’s still great.

…And a new one, Notebook Sisters— by two writers, Mime and and Cait, who seem to have an abundance of blog memes to fill their blog with.

I’ll go with three today.  Just three.  That last award asked for fifteen bloggers– I’ve got to let them all rest.

I’ll go nominate now.

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

You know, I have a right to be paranoid.  “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean no one is after you”– never was a truer word spoken.  (Except that one time I hooked myself up to the lie detector and spent twenty minutes trying to find something to say that wouldn’t set it off.  But other than that.)

There are just some people out there who have got it in for me.  I don’t understand it– what have I done to them?  But they just keep coming, trying again and again to put the kibosh on me with…

Oh, it’s too painful to speak, but I just want you to know that if I suddenly vanish from this blog, you shouldn’t grieve for me– just leave the small donation: access to your debit account would work just fine.  But if what’s coming is too much for me, I just want you to know that…


Fifteen of you readers today are going to have some harrowing experiences in the next few days.  Why?  Because this affliction I have… it just won’t leave me alone unless I pass it on.  I’m sorry, fellow bloggers– I really am.

No I’m not.  Misery loves company.

That being said, I’d just like you to know that I am in no way responsible for your demise.  Thank you, and have a perfectly ghastly day.  Because…


Severe Trauma (Oodles of Awards)

I’m still recovering from Mrs. Sparkly* and what do these people do?  They slap a few more awards on me.  I sigh and accept them philisophically.


This is the first one.  Absolutely hideous, don’t you agree?  It’s pink, it has a floral pattern, and the spelling…  Horrid!  Absolutely horrid!  Lashings of apologies for anyone severely traumatised by this.  Thanks– I think– to Lily at Lily’s Notes in the margins.

The ever-present rules:  I must answer ten questions (Urg!).  I must give ten random facts (Blechh!).  I must pass it on to seven doomed recipients (Gladly!).

What is your favorite song?  Beethoven’s fifth symphony.  Hands down.

What is your favorite dessert?  I dunno…  Probably Banana Chocolate Surprise– sold at a restaurant near… me.  Not you.

What ticks you off?  Bad spelling, bad grammar, boring music, and bad assumptions.  Who couldn’t be distressed with bad spelling when faced with the title of this award?  “Kreativ?”  Really?  You could have gotten a better-named– and a better-spelled– award if a preschooler had invented it.  If I find the guy who invented this thing, he’s going to regret it.  Unless he pays me off with a hefty bribe.  (Corruptibility– gotta love it.)

When you’re upset, what do you do?  I usually go read.  Or sulk.  I spend time with myself.

What is your favorite pet?  The kind where you go from the front of the animal to the back. It goes with the fur, scale, or feather direction.

Which do you prefer: black or white?  Exactly in-between.  Grey.  Black at a pinch.

What is your attitude?  What, right now?  I’m pretty miffed at the stupidity of this award.  But generally I’m lighthearted.  Mr. Sunshine, that’s me.

What is perfection?  The absence of this award from my life.  Silence.  A month ago, I would have said the three R’s: Rick Riordan’s ‘Riting.  Now I’m not so sure.  Post on that coming up.  Maybe.

What is your guilty pleasure?  Finding fault.  I’m good at it.  But it makes me feel guilty.

Now for some facts:

  1. I like the idea of learning a new language, but not to the point of actually learning it.
  2. I don’t like putting pictures on my blog.  (I blame Mrs. Sparkly.)
  3. I count the numbers of letters in words, the number of characters in sentences, and occasionally (when reading Shakespeare) the number of syllables in sentences.  Iambic pentameter, you understand.
  4. I like spaghetti.  Everyone likes spaghetti.  Those who don’t become models for my antagonists.
  5. I like stories about writing.  Inkheart, The Fire Within, Stranger than Fiction, Finding Neverland, to name a few.
  6. I’m a hypocrite when it comes to romance.  I say I don’t like it, then use it while writing.  Especially ironic when I wrote romance into the Phil Phorce episode… in which Liam is a subject.  I’ll let you see for yourself, however.  And yes, I’m working on it.
  7. I really have better things to do, but I’m stuck writing these stupid facts for this stupid award because if I don’t I’ll forget.
  8. I’d rather be writing Phil Phorce.
  9. I’d rather be writing Wise.
  10. I will be writing either– or both– just after this.

Tsk, tsk.  Another award.

At least this one is spelled right….

And look: this one has rules too.  I said ever-present before, right?


  1. This award is for book bloggers only. To receive this award the blog must be at least 50% about books (reading or writing is okay)
  2. Along with receiving this award, you must also share your top five favorite books you have ever read. (More than five is okay)
  3. You must give this award to 5-10 other lucky book blogs you adore.

“Lucky book blogs [I] adore…”  No accounting for choice of words.  So I must only list five favorite books for this.  Oh, joy.  I live for these awards, did you know that?  (Oh, sarcasm…)

  1. The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexander Dumas
  2. The Serpent’s Shadow, Rick Riordan
  3. The Lost Stories (Ranger’s Apprentice series), John Flanagan
  4. The Fire Ascending, Chris D’Lacey
  5. Inkdeath, Cornelia Funke

There are probably more, but as I’ve mentioned once or twice I’m not too keen on drawing these award ceremonies out any longer than necessary.  I’m kind of over my time limit as it is.

So.  Joint nominations for both awards here:

The Leaning Tower of Plot.

All I Need Is A Keyboard.

The Land of Man-Eating Pixies.

Musings from Neville’s Navel.

Seana J. Vixen.

Further Up and Further In.

A Farewell To Sanity.

I suppose I must notify them now…  And I suppose you’ve noticed by now that I’m not the most enthusiastic recipient of these awards.  Don’t be scared off, though.  They’re welcome diversions in the never-ending months of sanity.

*Mrs Sparkly: an award I got a while back with the most hideous picture I ever did see.  Butterflies, roses, and a large sparkly necklace.  Horrible.  I shudder to think of it.