Too Late

Here’s a short story I wrote yesterday [12-21-12] as I contemplated the concept of an entire day being the end of the world.  Since at any given time it’s a different day in another part of the world, I thought it would be interesting to write the following story.  It’s completely dialogue, but I’d still like a critique on the amount of information I gave through the conversation.  Thanks for reading.

“Today is the Earth’s last day.”

“What?  It can’t be!  Yesterday was its last day.”

“Well, it was a false alarm yesterday.  Today is the real last day.”

“You mean…  You’re just going to wipe out humans?  Completely?”

“I prefer to think of it as housecleaning that we’ve put off for thousands of years.”

“We?  I happen to like humans!”

“Well I don’t.  Humans disgust me.”

“Sometimes they disgust me too.  I was wrong—I just like Great Britain.”

“England’s town names are ridiculous.  Berwick-upon-tweed?  Seriously?”

“You’re right…  I just like Scotland.”

“They blow their noses and call it music—they carry enormous tissue boxes around with them that they call bagpipes.”

“But they have knives in their socks!  Ah, well…  I like the hares.”

“Yeah, the hares are okay.  But that’s collateral damage—the humans have to go.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?  We had a chess game planned.”

“Remember last time we played chess?”

“No…”

“Let me refresh your memory: World War II.”

“Oh…  Yeah…  That whole thing was too bad.”

“You were rather frustrated with that game.”

“Well, when you refused to end the game when I took your king, I had to take drastic measures.”

“You dropped nuclear bombs.”

“I said drastic.  But I was not myself.  I’m calmer now.”

“So you agree, we shouldn’t play chess?”

“I suppose not.”

“Then we should end the world.”

“But…  Well, okay.  Let’s wait until the end of the day, though.”

“Okay.  It’s December 21, 2012, 2350 hours in Japan.”

“How many hours?”

“For those who don’t operate on 24-hour clocks, it’s 11:50.  11:51 now.”

“Okay…  Nine minutes.”

“2353 hours…. 2358 hours.”

“12:00.”

“I’m gonna destroy ‘em, and I’m gonna enjoy it.”

“Wait!  We agreed to wait ‘til the end of the day, right?”

“…Yeah?”

“It’s only 11:00 PM in China.”

“Phooey.  So we wait for another hour?”

“Yup.”

“How about checkers?  That’s pretty harmless.”

“’Kay.”

“2330 hours.”

“King me.”

“2350.”

“King me again.”

“Would you stop winning?”

“Would you stop wishing for the end of the world?”

“It’s not the end of our world.  Just theirs.”

“Still.”

“Yes!  That’s it!  I destroy them… now.”

“Wait!  It’s still eleven in Jakarta.”

“Drat.  Another game?”

“Sure.”

“2320 hours.”

“Checkmate.”

“You mean, king me.”

“Yeah, king me.”

“No, king me!”

“It’s eleven thirty.”

“Oh.”

“King me.”

“2340 hours.”

“King me.”

“2350…”

“King me.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“King m—I mean, it’s eleven in Nepal.”

“Dang it.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in Berlin.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in Greenwich.”

“TIME FOR THE WORLD TO DIE!”

“It’s eleven in NYC.”

“Time for the world to die?”

“Eleven in Sacramento.”

“Now?  Please?”

“It’s eleven in Honolulu.”

“Now, finally, it’s time for the world to end.  Right?  Right.  Let’s go.”

“Wait!  It’s the 22nd already.”

“What…?”

“You waited too long.  It’s December 22nd.”

“Stupid checkers games.  Today is the day the world ends.  You can’t stop me.”

“Can’t we wait until the end of the day?”

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1 Comment

  1. Rosie McCann

     /  August 5, 2016

    This is SO the best short story I have read in forever.

    Reply

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